Right time…

I just don’t know what to write about for tonight… I just thought that maybe I should do something worth this 9:16pm buzz… Maybe jotting down some words would eventually lead later on to having some good stuff into whatever thought or idea I’d come up with…. I’d love to get lost to all these words playing in my head… resonating through my chest and eventually playing through my senses… and I love that feeling…. That rare thing of finding yourself immersed in that thing that simply empties your entire existence until such time that you feel like a single ripple in a vast ocean of pure intoxicating fantasy… the intensity is as exhilarating as singing your first song or writing your very first love letter… Until all these daydreaming is wash ashore… Only until then would you be able to go back to reality… Well, if you could at least go on for more of that dive… Maybe you would… you’d love to… But then, they are never meant to replace reality… But rather just a few minutes to give you time to breathe… A time to care for yourself… To mend the wounds… to relinquish those scars to yesterdays… To free those songs you once sang but keeping the melody to yourself until such time that you might need it… We let go of the words but we keep their meaning… Maybe these meaning would eventually lead to more of yourselves until that frolicking tomorrows…

Now, when reality creeps to grab a piece of your soul, give it another ride… Take every meaning you have… Go on to where the wind blows…. Fight it whenever you have to… How you do it? Sometimes there are things that we really don’t have to ask…. Sometimes, asking only leads to more questions…. And oftentimes, life has its way of revealing all the truths… both in the right time and place… And I’d say it’s best to wait for that time…. Don’t press unto things that aren’t just ripe… Taking them forcefully before their season only produces bitter results rather than those sweet ones you aspired for…

Not that we have to really wait until the perfect fit comes along… Perfect if not impossible is very rare to come by… And oftentimes, they go as fast as they arrived… What I’m saying, maybe, is that we need to take the risks at times… make some compromises… eat our pride… set aside our egos… And maybe, at the end of the day, we’ll see the outcome to be worth the wait… the compromises and all the sacrifices… Maybe, it would even be better than what we’ve actually hoped for…

Life is a cycle of all the good and the bad, clinging unto one means resisting the cycle… Pressing unto a stop that we at times badly needed to contemplate on some things… But can we really hold on to that frozen moment? I guess not, a minutes later we’d fall unto all the bad things… But are they really that bad? Maybe, seeing life as a cycle of bad and good is wrong… Maybe its entirely a cycle of how we see things… Like when we push on to be at the top, we see the whole world… almost at our grasp… like everything would all be possible with where we are at that precise moment… gives that exhilarating experience of feeling that wind beneath our own wings…Then we moved on to the bottom, frown and fret over missing the prestige of being up there… But, did we ever thought… being under is a new way of seeing the world on that exact same ground… feeling its very own details… And maybe we never noticed, but there are times when we just need to feel something beneath our feet, too…

Just words… aren’t they?

Isn’t it funny how words can be played with?… How it can be twisted until such time that even those horrible words to say to someone can somehow sound like a compliment…  Sort of ironic how words can really play us… Until now, I still find it amazing how words can even vary in meaning… how one person will acknowledge them may also depend on the person saying them.  

Most regard words as simple tools to convey what one wants to convey to the other or to half of the world….  But to some, words can stand with and for their own meanings….  They can be literal… But…, again funny how people oftentimes digs for the meanings behind words…. Even when they ought to be taken at face value, we dig further until such time that we find a new meaning to it…  Funny but we somehow select what we want to hear, too… what meaning they ought to share… 

 But I sort of thought? Who gives meaning to words really?  Isn’t it that its the recipient or the person to whom we are addressing a certain speech, they are the ones giving meaning to those things we’re saying…  We only have the following within our control- that is how we compose our words and the manner of conveying them…. The strength we give to its syllables or stress points somehow alters the mood and somehow directs our listeners or readers to how they would take or understand our thoughts…  These can be anger, sympathy, joy , fear and all those emotions…  How words can stir those emotions….

 As much as possible, I wanted to avoid using strong words or whatever it is that may sound shallow or hollow, or worst is words that may sound dreadful…  I’ve read an article then that since we’ll never know when we are gonna eat our words, then we might as well keep them sweet…

 Just had this thought…. Thought of sharing it….

A trip to where….

I’ll tell you of something…every detail of that cut scene from nowhere of that which appeared as if a dynasty of lost fortitude amidst all this frenzy… Now, like all else, I’m vague… my voice became inaudible and my words extending beyond comprehension that no one would be able to make up of those wobbly noises coming from within the vast empty realm of my existence… Every reasons finally losing their sense and meaning in this self-created generation that everything turns to ambiguous profound text of solstice and melancholy… Such despair burning like it never did in all those centuries of my radiating dive to this oblivion of relentless storms of everyone dancing along this air I’m breathing… drenched in all these, I’m freezing… ‘Til all of me come to that point of numbness… It’s scary but its where I needed to be… It’s my test… a challenge every soul must go through to find that fire to break free from all these chills…

There, alas, found that light… looks near… yet every step I took towards it gets me further from it… I had to get there… Then I found myself running fast to be near it until it disappears from my horizon… I set back, it’s all the hope I have… Why? I’m giving everything up… As I free myself of everything… I float and dawdle in these endless depths of darkness… without any glow of hope… I knew now, it’s bound to this… then suddenly as all else diminished from my senses… I’m starting to feel the wind… It slowly touches my face… Realizing that, I looked back… Then looking forward I finally realized, this is a mirror of my past I’m looking at… I knew then that that light I’m chasing is in my past… I needed to go back… With everything that’s left of me… I rushed back and found everything I needed all along… Oftentimes, we get to that point where everything seemed right that we tend to hold unto it… Forgetting that everything changes and we may resist and now want it but it’s the way things were… coz if they never were? Where do we belong then… Should we even be here? Sometimes, people have to go forward and further beyond what their eyes can reach… further until everything else turn to past… However, here’s the cliché… Sometimes, we needed to go back to… We can sail further and even soar as high as the eagle… and yet even in these, we need to learn to go back… It’s tiring to be moving onwards and onwards… sometimes, we tend to look for the better ones… but hey, are you really up to it… Listen to the winds of fate… the waves of the past… maybe you’re bound for something else… so it’s then that you leave the sailing and that flight to those that need to… Yes… it’s a choice we make and in that choice, “choose to be happy”… In that choice, “look nowhere no longer, learn to look at your present… savor it… every second that goes with it..” Just who knows when you least expect it, the wind may whisper when it’s the right time… It’s not for you to know, rather its how the way it works… you leave it at that and ready yourself for the possibilities that lies ahead… Learn to close your eyes when you have to and use what’s left of your senses… sometimes, the message goes beyond what the eyes can see… it may be your ears to listen to it or your heart to dance in its rhythm… However, you need to learn to open your eyes, too, when needed… Eyes is use to see the truth… and sometimes, when everything else is all but lies, then closing them would be better for you to listen to the truth… This isn’t easy… and no one said it is an easy task… It’s a challenge… It’s a road we have to take… It’s not an option we have to choose coz this is exactly the way it is… No one is to follow.. No one is to lead… Its your path.. Its my path… its ours…